Do you have a strained or emotionally distant relationship with your adult daughter, not knowing what went wrong, let alone how to fix it?
Does your daughter ever snub you or act rudely even when you think your being kind and loving?
Do you crave a deeper and closer bond with her but question wheth- er there is even any hope for repair?
If you’ve answered “yes” to any or all the above, you are among millions of ten- der-loving moms who’ve lost the sugar-and-spice and everything nice with their adult daughters and who desperate desire help. But despair no longer–your res- cue guide has arrived!
Filled with examples and interviews from real-life mothers and daughters, an- ecdotes, exercises, and checklists combined with a tough love, yet compassionate tone, Sassy and Rude provides tangible advice for you to:
Connect the dots between your childhood wounds, your parenting style and your daughter’s sassy factor.
Gain deeper insight into your daughter’s wounded heart.
Stop power struggles once and for all by facing conflict in more constructive ways.
Accept responsibility for your own role in creating the rifts, leaving shame and guilt behind.
Generate realistic expectations coupled with loving boundaries.
Your Boss is Not Your Mother is an essential new guide to uprooting and solving the underlying problems that cause office drama with positive guidance for improving workplace relationships. Most people who are unhappy at work attribute it to their relationships with coworkers. By continually getting sucked into workplace drama, they’re usually replicating problems they had with parents, siblings, or others in childhood. Dr. Debra Mandel attacks these workplace problems at the roots. Using real-life stories and anecdotes, she demonstrates how to respond to people in the workplace with a clear head. This warm and insightful guide is full of interactive features—self-tests, exercises and checklists—designed to help you explore and assess your workplace interactions, let go of negative influences and take charge of your work life.
The world, however, doesn’t always cooperate with us and sometimes we have to sacrifice what may well be our most favorite pastime– play! Plus, when we finally find the time to enjoy some fun, we won’t always be in sync with our partners, hence possibly leading to disappointment or conflict!
So you find yourself in a situation wherein you and your lover disagree more than occasionally on how to enjoy time together, here are six tips to help you freshen up your playtime!
1. Make sure that your partner isn’t avoiding contact with you for some unspoken reason. For instance, maybe you’ve made several attempts at having fun together but your “good time” has often deteriorated into a “bad time.” If there is something causing your partner to not want to hang out with you, address whatever it is ASAP!
2. Suggest options that appeal to both of you. If the two of you have varied interests without much overlap, you may need to exercise increased flexibility so that you both find playtime to be enjoyable. Consider taking turns picking the activity so that you each get your first choice evenly.
3. Once you settle on something to do together, even if it isn’t your favorite option, don’t complain. There is nothing worse than hanging out with a spoilsport.
4. Keep your expectations reasonable. Even highly compatible couples don’t always want to do the same thing, let alone at the same time.
5. Be empathetic toward your lover if he/she needs extra rest. Don’t take it personally. Just make sure that there isn’t something physically wrong causing fatigue. And remember: resting together can also sometimes be logged as playtime.
6. Remind your partner that a couple who plays together more likely stays together! Without any sort of pressure – state the importance of the relationship to you and how you want to do whatever you can to help it grow in a healthy way!
Now, most importantly, get in the sandbox and have some fun!!
When people hear the words “pain” and “positivity” in the same sentence, they often react with “No way–that’s an oxymoron!” But the two experiences don’t have to be mutually exclusive!
Let me explain.
Recently, I threw out my back. Not the simple tweak (i.e., ice pack, anti-inflammatory, and a day of rest to relieve the discomfort), but rather the kind that inspires the all-out reaction of, “OMG–will I ever be able to walk pain-free again?!” By the 10th day of barely being able to care for myself without crying out in agony, my mind went to some pretty dark places. Fortunately, I’m one of the lucky ones since my back-condition only yields acute-pain (i.e., temporary rather than chronic). Plus, I have considerable control over flare-ups based on how I treat my body. But pain is pain and what I learned is that our mind-set and our actions toward pain directly correlate with how we end up feeling. Hence, if we approach pain with doom and gloom, our pain might worsen. But if we stay hopeful and create proactive solutions, we might very well find ourselves feeling less pain!
While my heart goes out to anyone who experiences suffering and I certainly understand that simple quick fix tips won’t help everyone, for those who experience temporary discomfort (be it physical or even emotional), below are some ideas/actions on how to turn negative thoughts surrounding pain into some level of positivity.
Most importantly, remember that a little bit of light can go along way!
And remember, attitudes are contagious. So, what would you like people to catch from you?
No one single “right” way exists on how to share your inner self with a lover. But certainly some ways are better than others. As a personal example, many moons ago, I went on a date with a guy I had a big crush on. Because of the out-of-control butterflies in my gut, I lost all of my composure and blurted out every skeleton from my closet as if giving him a costume preview for an upcoming horror movie! Outcome? No second date!
So how do you express your hidden truths without being overwhelming to another? Below are six tips:
Most importantly, as you begin your love affair remember that true intimacy requires fully knowing each other’s insides! So happy sharing!
You might ask, “Can I forgive someone whose behavior may have been despicable?” Well you can and must. Here’s how:
Once you practice the tips above– take a deep breath, inhaling your desire for healthy love, an intention to create it, and freedom and hope for the future. Then, release the breath, exhaling all negative feelings toward your ex. Most importantly, appreciate the blessings in your life today and create the fertile ground for the seeds of romance and love to bud and blossom in the future!
Whether you’re entrenched in a dead-end job, a stale relationship, an empty house after your children have launched, or some other unfulfilling circumstance, you can make quick and simple changes to help you feel more excited about life right now! Try the following tips:
Most Importantly, trust in your own resources! You can do it! But always remember you cannot control other people, places, or things, only your own reaction to them. And, you are responsible for being proactive in your life-so don’t wait around for a magic wand to make things better!
(Note – if you suffer from depression or debilitating anxiety and don’t believe you can make the changes you desire, please seek professional help.)
So unless you’re trying to find a way out–if you’re headed down relationship killer lane on any of these three paths, make a U-turn immediately!
© Copyright Dr. Debra Mandel – All rights reserved.