Treat Your “Inner Child” Like A Superhero!

No one has had a perfect childhood. Rather, most of us endured some sort of hardship, trauma, adversity or, at the very least, something less than ideal while growing up. As a result, whether we are consciously aware or not, we have an “inner child” who carries forward some sort of negative fallout from those early years into our adulthood, and who often aches for some healing. Ideally the emotional healing we often crave for our wounds should have occurred at the time the wounds were created. But more often than not, no such healing comes from the original source, or at the optimal time. As a result, you may have boxed away feelings, memories, or other painful remnants of the past as a way of disconnecting from your inner child. Yet, this split-off part of you will continue to hold anger, resentment, sadness, hurt, etc. until you address these buried feelings. And, the little beast could wreak havoc somewhere in your adult life.

How your inner child inevitability draws attention to her/himself is varied and unpredictable. Regardless, some negative fall-out with regards to interpersonal relationships or self-worth will likely occur. For instance, if you were mistreated as a child by someone significant, such as a parent, you might be drawn toward emotionally abusive relationships in adulthood—not because you are masochistic, but because you are attempting to resolve what wasn’t resolved with your caregiver. Or, you may suffer from an undercurrent of irritability and resentment, causing you to be snippy with others. Yet, this “re-creation” of old wounds with new people won’t repair the past.

The examples above are just a few of the myriad of situations wherein your inner child begs to be acknowledged, yet she doesn’t turn her attention to you because she doesn’t trust that you will be the best source of her healing. Hence, your inner child turns into an inner monster and continually seeks healing in all the wrong places and from all the wrong people, with no satisfaction.

If this speaks to you, it’s time to nip this negative feedback loop in the bud and start treating your inner kid like the superhero she/he is! BTW: this is not a prescription for believing, or acting as if, you are better than others. Rather it’s merely a suggestion for you to embrace all aspects of yourself in order to create a positive relationship with your inner child. Also, you aren’t required to love every aspect of yourself to achieve self-acceptance. In fact, it’s good to regularly evaluate our behavior, and the choices we make, to determine the value of them in our present surroundings. Then we can make changes where we have control. But it’s not okay to shame and berate ourselves or deny our emotional baggage because, without integration and acceptance of ourselves, we cannot thrive!

Don’t know where to begin? Practice the following tips:

Stop being mean to yourself and practice self-love! State five positive affirmations daily. For example, pick a quality you possess such as “compassion” and say aloud: “I am proud to be able to be compassionate and understanding toward others.” Keep the affirmations simple and realistic. Either repeat the same ones or create new ones each day.
Look in the mirror every day and say these words aloud to your reflection: “I am here for you and will love you no matter what.” This is a trust building exercise between the “adult” you and the “child” within you.
Observe a parent who is exceptionally loving toward her infant or toddler. Then practice treating yourself in the same manner. If you don’t know of anyone whom you can emulate, find a character in a movie of TV show, or go to a local park and observe a parent-child interaction.
Smile at least 10 times per day. Don’t feel happy—then fake it, ‘til you make it. And, if you can muster up a good belly laugh or two, that will get you there quicker!
Commend your inner child regularly on having made it through difficult times in the past. Take this a step further and state how grateful you are for being able to give yourself the emotional nurturance you deserve.
Vow to do something playful every day. For instance, play a game you truly enjoyed as a child to remind yourself of fun times or think of a favorite memory and recreate it!
Make sure you attend to your basic needs on a regular basis. You wouldn’t deprive an infant of food if she were crying out with hunger pains, so why would you skip eating when you’re hungry? This applies for all basic needs such as sleep, affection, nurturance, etc.

Above all, use your imagination! After all, “play” is what children do best—so let your inner child have fun!