Vanity Insanity: Stop Obsessing about Beauty Ideals and Be Happy With Who You Are!

photo by Tiffany Luptak – www.tiffanyluptakphotography.com

Let’s face it – there’s no way around the fact that we live in a world obsessed with beauty ideals! Even those among us who claim to not buy into the obsession with physical appearance will sometimes report a gnawing sense of inadequacy, especially when they become trapped in the lair of comparing themselves to images portrayed as the most beautiful people in the world. As if the writers for People magazine ever survey the whole population, let alone have any idea what beauty is. Yet, every year we are inundated with such nonsense.

Of course, there is some survival value to looking our best. We do like attracting mates, and occasionally we may even want to keep one around long-term. J But looking our best is not the same as being beauty obsessed nor is it trying to conform or morph ourselves into someone’s arbitrary determination of what is beautiful and what isn’t. Although cliché—beauty truly lies in the eyes of the beholder. And, because beauty comes in so many different shapes, sizes, and colors, to continually fixate on a narrow vision creates a recipe for self-defeat, insecurities, and low self worth.

how do we stop giving a crap about such trivial matters as to whether or not we missed our hair appointment to cover up the “unsightly” gray, forgot to shave our armpits/legs, or failed to drop those 5 extra pounds before we took a vacation to the Bahamas? Mind you, I’m not suggesting we stop taking care of our exterior appearance. Quite the contrary. I am suggesting,, however, that we stop putting all of our focus on the outer shell and start shifting our attention to internal self-improvement. Here are 6 tips:

Chuck all of your fashion/beauty magazines. These magazines are aimed at making you feel inadequate so you will buy more products and services. Spend your money on more important things.
Focus on becoming the best you– not the best outer shell of you. For example, pick a quality you admire in others, such as being a compassionate person, and work on building up this quality in yourself.
Avoid plastic surgery, Botox, and any other expensive “beauty” enhancing procedures. Instead, try more natural remedies to keep your skin, hair, and nails healthy and vibrant. Too often, people opt for a quick fix instead of putting energy into eating healthfully, exercising, and minimizing stress. These will help create full body care with benefits to physical, mental and emotional wellbeing.
Keep mirror-time to a minimum. It’s ok to look in the mirror from time to time to do your daily routines. But, never ask the question: Mirror, mirror on the wall—who’s the fairest of them all? Unless, of course, you answer: “me.”
Embrace the aging process with excitement and grace! Remember youth doesn’t last forever. So instead of fighting the inevitable, enjoy the process and be appreciative every day of everything about yourself.
Focus your attention on who you are as a person, not what you look like. Build up your inner beauty by increasing self-love, compassion, empathy, generosity, etc.

The obsession with beauty is not an easy problem to solve. Having grown up in a family and subculture heavily focused on the importance of outer appearance, (resulting in a poor self-image and an eating disorder) I understand how hard it can be to ignore, let alone erase, this toxic messaging. But if you practice daily saying “no” to the pressure to chase the arbitrary beauty standards set forth in the media or in your own head, you will begin to feel better. Plus you will ultimately give yourself the biggest gift of all. Your inner light will shine more brightly–the truest beauty of all!