Attracting Healthy Love: Forgive Your Ex-partners!

More than likely, if you’ve been active in the intimate relationship world, then you’ve probably been scorned by a former lover or two. As such, you may feel righteous indignation and see no need to forgive him. Or worse, you may even vehemently hold onto your anger as if you had won an Olympic gold medal for the “one who was most wronged” category. However, while you might feel fortified by your resentment toward your ex, resentment is like swallowing poison and waiting for the other guy to die! In other words, holding on to hatred or general disdain for someone who is no longer present in your life will only negatively affect your own mental and emotional wellbeing in the long run. Hence, if your goal is to attract and create healthy love, it’s time to forgive your ex and move on!

You might ask, “Can I forgive someone whose behavior may have been despicable?” Well you can and must. Here’s how:

Accept what is true—i.e., that you are no longer in a romantic relationship with your ex. You may not like it, but it’s what’s so.
Accept your ex for who he is, both the good and the bad.
Recognize that most people do the best they can in their relationships. So simply acknowledge that the relationship did not work out for various reasons and that both of you get to be happy by moving on. (Note, if your former partner intentionally set out to harm you wherein you were seriously abused or harmed, this may be more difficult. But nevertheless, what’s done is done and you must let go.)
Accept responsibility for your own contribution to why the relationship ended, even if you believe he was the primary cause of the demise. That is not to say that you were equally responsible in all ways, but more than likely you had a part in creating and maintaining the problems. For instance, maybe you stayed in the relationship too long because you believed in his potential though he never said he was going to change. Or maybe you didn’t communicate your needs adequately doing the classic female stance of “why should I ask, when he should just know what I need?” So learn from your mistakes to avoid making the same ones in the future.

Once you practice the tips above– take a deep breath, inhaling your desire for healthy love, an intention to create it, and freedom and hope for the future. Then, release the breath, exhaling all negative feelings toward your ex. Most importantly, appreciate the blessings in your life today and create the fertile ground for the seeds of romance and love to bud and blossom in the future!